All you cryptobiologists can throw a big damn party—scientists have confirmed the existence of Sasquatch.
According to the National Post, science nerds are pointing to a recent study that confirms the mating of a human woman and a primate some 15,000 years ago. Of course their love child spawned Sasquatch, the loveable but elusive beast which WE KNOW is lurking around the forests of the Pacific Northwest. We know this because the National Post just did a hilarious interview with the stinky ape-like-man.
Here's an excerpt from of that interview:
Q Melba S. Ketchum, who headed-up the study, says your species dates back 15,000, when a human bred with a primate. What do you think of her findings?
Bigfoot I will Google her now. She kind of hot. Can think whatever freaky thing she want.