Slip, Slop, Slap — What To Do In This Extreme Oregon Heat Wave

Channel your inner vampire — or 16 year old teenager — and avoid the outdoors the next few days.

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W

e’re melting!


With a excessive heat warning in place from noon until Friday and with many weather forecasts predicting temperatures well into the 100s — here’s a few wise crackin’ tips to stay cool — and use less energy (yes, you still have to go to work). So grab that baby/pooch/husband (if you must) from that boiling hot car and settle in because... global warming is reportedly here.


Chug Water, Skip the Brews


As tempting as it is to reach for that cold brewski, alcohol is a diuretic and dehydrates. Increase your fluid intake by 16-32 ounces each hour, according the the World Health Organization. Opt for caffeine and sugar free fluids, so, no, those energy drinks don’t count. Freezing fluids may cause stomach cramps, so don’t go overboard with that 64-million-ounce ice waters from Starbucks.

If all else fails, this should work.
  • If all else fails, this should work.

Replace Salt and Minerals

Now's a good time to head to the library and consider some light reading.
  • Now's a good time to head to the library and consider some light reading.

Even the most poised women and men will find themselves excessively sweating 

these days, especially if you’re in an old mill home without any air conditioning (whaddup West side!).

So consider tackling those long overdue work projects or getting in some light reading of War and Peace at the local library to poach those cooler, ac temps. Skip the TV — it generates even more heat.


Heavy sweating removes vital salt and minerals and they must be replaced. Grab electrolyte powder, not a sugary gatorade (sorry kids) and hey, here’s an idea, add it into that 32 ounces of cool fluids you’re supposed to be chugging anyway!


Channel Your Inner Vampire...
or 16 Year Old Teenager


The sun, it burns! Close those blinds and drapes, especially in south-facing windows which allow for the most heat. In the evening time — open your coffin… err, I mean, windows, grab a fan, and circulate the cooler evening air.


If you live in Shevlin Pines or Broken Top and are one-half of the population in the Pacific Northwest that has A/C, set your thermostat to 78 degrees which will keep you cool but not cost you the equivalent....of a house on Broken Top.

Anything below 78 degrees can increase your air conditioning bill as much as eight percent, according to Pacific Power (yes, I'm also unsure of why they’re telling you tips on lowering your bills, but I digress).

If you leave your lair, don’t shut the AC off, set it higher at 85 degrees so you’ll use less power to cool the house once you’ve returned.

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You’re Herby Granted:“A Get Out Of Working Out” Card. Enjoy.


If you MUST exercise, because, you know, the Cascade Lakes Relay is coming up or something, then do so in the early morning or late evening hours. Or hey, this might be a great time to trail that gym membership eh?

Drink two to four glasses of cool, nonalcoholic fluids each hour (notice a theme here?) and if you are on a low-salt diet, talk with your doctor before drinking a sports beverage or taking salt tablets.


Grill, Takeaway or Go Out

George Foreman says, "Channel your inner George Foreman."
  • George Foreman says, "Channel your inner George Foreman."

Master your BBQing skills and put those Martha Stewart culinary skills away. Grill, order out or make that salad. Avoid warming your home even more so by using your stove and oven less to maintain a cooler temperature in your home.

Sorry stoner dude — no homemade pot brownies, but if you really want those pizza pockets then go 1st year dorm-room style and use a toaster oven — they use a third less energy than conventional ovens.

Wear Skimpy Clothes


These are getting fun aren’t they?
The kicker: wear as little as you can...
when you’re home.
(Cue the boos).

You're welcome.
  • You're welcome.

Cover up when outside to protect against that ghastly thing called skin cancer and choose lightweight, light-colored and loose-fitting clothing. A wide-brimmed hat does the trick. Didya' know that a sunburn affects your body’s ability to naturally cool itself? Yeah, me either, till now.


So do as the Aussie’s do (because they have that hole in the ozone layer and know a thing or too about HEAT) and Slip-Slop-Slap!


SLIP on a shirt

SLOP on the 30+ sunscreen,

SLAP on a hat,


And throw some shrimp on the barbie!














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