News came out yesterday that the 2010 Beard Team USA Nationals will be held here in Bend, Oregon and it’s more or less the only thing people have been talking to me about since.
Well, probably because beards are the most important thing to touch the human face since the death mask of Agamemnon, that’s why. And for mustaches, you ask? Well the mustache used the last few years of the past decade to transform its reputation from the calling card look for cops, Spaniards and men driving windowless vans in search of errant kittens to a cool-if-you-can-pull-it-off hipster accessory.
So the state of facial hair is STQS (pronounced “Sticks” and meaning Strong To Quite Strong), especially in Bend where few men let their cheeks or upper lips go bare come winter. I catalogued this phenomenon in a feature for the Source last year and it seems like the winter of 2009/2010 is proving to rather beardy as well.
If you want to compete, you better already have a good base going, because these guys are serious. Just check this out this parade from the Word Championships held this past May in Anchorage, Alaska.
Rumor has it that Todd Palin’s goatee won – not because it’s particularly stylish, but because he ran over all the other competitors with his snowmobile. Or something like that.