A Celebration of Sub-Mediocrity: The Seahawks are proudly the worst team ever to make the NFL playoffs | Outside Features | Bend | The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon

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A Celebration of Sub-Mediocrity: The Seahawks are proudly the worst team ever to make the NFL playoffs

The Seahawks are in the NFL playoffs, even though they're pretty awful.


If you're a football fan from Seattle, Tacoma, Spokane, Sedro Wooley or, actually, anywhere in the states of Washington, Oregon, Idaho or Alaska that constitute the Seahawk Nation*, you stood in front of your television on Sunday night and realized that the miserable season you'd endured with your Seattle Seahawks wasn't over. In fact, you celebrated the team's NFC West championship. Which means they're in the playoffs. And get to play a home game. With a 7-9 record.

That's right, with a record that would be bad enough to get some coaches fired and lose any chance of a 2011 Monday Night Football appearance, the Seahawks have dragged their asses like sickly dogs into the playoffs. And damnit, if I - as a nearly lifelong resident of the Seahawk Nation** -- haven't climbed up onto that bandwagon. My NFC West Default Champions t-shirt should be arriving in the mail any day and if I had the $397 (estimated) to spend, I might even travel up for the game.

OK, so here's where I'm supposed to say something like "Look what this loveable band of misfits has managed to do against all odds."

But rather, I'll say "This is a team with no real stars, no one who belongs in a Pro Bowl jersey and some players who probably shouldn't be in the NFL, that's quarterbacked by a bald man who gets injured even when he scores touchdowns. And yes, they're in the playoffs and they might even win a game."

Hey, I'm still on the bandwagon, though - but it's a tough bandwagon to hop on because for half of the season these guys didn't seem to give a damn. I'm not totally sure, but I think I saw Matt Hasselbeck eating a hotdog in the huddle against Tampa Bay. And fans didn't seem to care much either. They only followed the team in order to joke about how hilarious it would be if the Hawks - whose lineup continued to shuffle throughout the season, with about 15 different receivers and running backs no one had ever heard of - made the playoffs.

So now that's exactly what happened and wouldn't you know it if all these people who laughed at this scenario are now rushing to buy tickets for Saturday's match up against the Super Bowl champion Saints. How did this happen? Personally, I thank Pete Carroll's good looks.

*Note: To my knowledge, the Seahawk Nation is not a real thing. So don't try to run for president of it or anything.

** Again, don't look for it on a map - you won't find it.

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