Opinion » WTF

A Word About Radioactive Rabbits

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Rabbits are pretty innocent, not exactly straddling spider or rattlesnake territory when it comes to the terror factor. But the Hanford nuclear reservation took one rabbit and turned it into a radioactive death machine.


Last week, officials found radioactive rabbit poop around the 300 Area where nuclear weapons were produced during the Cold War. A few rabbits were trapped and one wide-eyed fuzzy bunny was found to be highly radioactive, presumably from drinking radioactive water at the plant, and therefore a death machine because, as most rational people know, exposure to nuclear contamination will cause a cute little rabbit to grow into a three story, killing machine that will terrorize rural Tri-City teenagers until the next comet comes along to undo the nuclear effects.

We usually like to give authorities the benefit of the doubt, but precautions to deter animals from becoming radioactive included a chain-link fence placed around the area and fox urine sprinkled on the perimeter. Fox urine, seriously? That's our defense against floppy-eared nuclear mayhem.WTF?

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