Looking for your sun, moon and stars? Don't expect this account to encourage you.W
hen online dating first started ramping up, people put a lot of time and effort into their profiles—or at least my girlfriends and I did. You'd write the perfect headline, be sure to include all of your favorite music just in case you found that one other person in Bend who was really into The Faint. Upon finally meeting, you'd go to dinner and have to spend 60+ painstaking minutes with some bro who, as it turns out, doesn't actually read, go for long walks on the beach or play the violin.
Thanks to the instant gratification that is Tinder, not only do we not have to pretend like attraction isn't initially important, we can meet individuals within minutes and blow them off just as quickly. No need to suffer through a whole meal when you can meet in a public place for a beer and peace out at soon as the last sip hits your tongue.
In the heyday of my personal Tinder dating, I had a variety of great blowoffs. Of course, the one dude who I kinda liked did the typical non-confrontational linger texting until it dwindled to nothing. My favorite blowoff went down as follows — Swipe right on a guy who looks moderately handsome. Decide to meet the next day at Cascade West for beers. Walk in the door and as soon as he opened his mouth it was over, and not in a good way. Proceed to make awkward conversation until he asks if I want another beer.
"Sure... uhh actually, I have to get home. I promised my roommate we could watch 'The Voice' together. Thanks for the beer, though!"
I bolt out the door and moments later get a text from the guy.
"Seriously?! That was the worst blowoff ever. Good luck!"
A case of star-crossed lovers? Nope, just dating in the age of Tinder.