If you've got this much blood on your clothes, laundry probably isn't your biggest problem.This week, two longstanding, albeit utterly different, popular music acts will arrive in Central Oregon to either get your fist pumping or your cowboy boot covered toes tapping. There's Brooks & Dunn, the popular country icons of the Coors Light genre, then there's Alice Cooper the original androgynous vampire, who now at 60 years old, isn't all that scary anymore. Here's how they look head to head - so pick your act and stick beside 'em.
Alice Cooper: Known for his pre-goth heavy rock.
Brooks & Dunn: Known for their Wal-Mart Country at the Honky Tonk.
Alice Cooper: Hit songs include: "Schools Out," "No More Mr. Nice Guy," "I'm Eighteen."
Brooks & Dunn: Hit songs include: "Boot Scootin' Boogie," "My Maria," "Hard Workin' Man."
Alice Cooper: As one of rock and roll's most rampant alcoholics, he was rumored to have sucked down more than a case of beer and a bottle of whiskey per day.
Brooks & Dunn: This is typical consumption for a pair of fans at a Brooks & Dunn concert before noon. Git er done!
Brooks & Dunn: Putting to work the standard process of using one's first pet's name and first street name to arrive at a porn star alias, Brooks & Dunn would be known as Taco Horton and Hooter Main, respectively.
Alice Cooper: Very well may have stumbled into a porn flick or two during his 1970s alcoholic heyday.
Alice Cooper: Along with Iggy Pop, attended Brian Wilson's birthday party, but the two left when the drug-addled Beach Boy freaked them out.
Brooks & Dunn: Ronnie Dunn attended Miley Cyrus' (Disney's Hannah Montana) birthday party, and stayed.
Alice Cooper: Is the father of the "shock rock" genre.
Brooks & Dunn: Their tune "Boot Scootin' Boogie" unleashed a rather shocking wave of early 1990s line dancing hysteria and a boost in the bolo tie market.
Alice Cooper: Cooper owns the Phoenix-based restaurant named Cooperstown Sports Bar and Grill. The eatery's motto is: Where jocks and rock meet.
Brooks & Dunn: Unofficial motto of their live show: Where overpriced cowboy hats and halter-tops meet.
Brooks & Dunn: Are the highest selling duo of all time behind Simon and Garfunkel.
Alice Cooper: Is the highest selling artist who is both a born-again Christian and perceived Satanist. It's not clear if Cooper was "born again" following one of his many faked onstage executions.
Alice Cooper: Passed on his shock rock legacy to Marilyn Manson and other goth rockers. He did not, however, pass on his tips for flawless eyeliner application.
Brooks & Dunn: Actress in their video for "Rock My World (Little Country Girl)" was found passed out behind the wheel of her car in the parking lot of a pizza joint with a blood alcohol level of .55. This is what happens when you wear your Calvin Klein snakeskin boots and rock out too much to Merle, kids.
Brooks & Dunn
6:30pm Wednesday, August 6. Les Schwab Amphitheater, 344 SW Shevlin Hixon Dr. $49.
7pm Thursday, July 31. Deschutes County Fairgrounds. 3800 SW Airport Way, Redmond. Admission is free with a ticket. CooListen to 98.3FM "The Twins" for tickets.