Can You Spot the Fake Review? | Smoke Signals | Bend | The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon

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Can You Spot the Fake Review?

You've heard of fake news. But what about fake reviews? Test your cannabis knowledge here



As I've mentioned in previous columns, I receive a fairly large number of items for review. And no, not all of them are cannabis products. (Begging the question, what the HELL, Oregon cannabis community?) So this week, we are going to knock out reviews for a bevy of items, with the understanding that one of these is fake. Can you figure out which one?


When I saw the shipping label for this, my first thought was "Is this a cannabis based S&M/spanking tool?" But thankfully, I was wrong, mostly due in part that those things don't exist, and that's a stupid idea. In reality, Canna Smack is a line of hemp-infused lip balms and body and skin creams. It's high quality stuff, free of parabens, gluten, sulfates, THC and cruelty, made in the U.S. Weed-strain flavored lip balms include Blue Dream, Pineapple Express and Maui Wowie. The company is woman-owned and Utah-based, and has a very cool list of core company values. You want to support a worthy small business that has some great products? Of course you do. Smooth lips and skin rule.


We all have our own ideas as to what constitutes our own Fourth Circle of Hell, and along with having our current Dictator in Chief in power, cleaning glass pieces is mine. I've created entirely new curse words during the comedy of errors that emerge when I pour cleaning fluids into my bong/glass pipes, then shake them and sadly attempt to cover all openings with my hands. Fluids that are now infused with bong gunk sprays everywhere, I shriek, the cat goes tearing out of the room. It's not pretty. Thankfully, the folks at Colorado -based Resolution must have heard my screams of anguish, because they sent me these simple but insanely useful Res Caps. The sets of silicon caps come in three sizes, and as the website states " allow you to universally stretch and seal for an airtight fit over glass water pipes, steamrollers and other glass accessories." You can also use them for travel and "scent blocking," because sometimes you don't want to smell like a bong. They come in three colors, and a set will run you $16. I should have thought of these myself, but I did not.


No, not the Oregon-based coffee shop. And not the Black Keys' side project with a cavalcade of hip-hop stars (Check that out, though. It's called Blakroc. You're welcome.) This small business, also based in Colorado, makes on-the-go stash kits for flower and dabs. (Not that your repurposed sandwich baggie with papers, weed and a lighter doesn't look badass and totally pro, it does, really.) But hear me out. These things are sweet. These sturdy soft-sided zipper cases allow you to select your own implements for consumption, or build upon an existing kit. Mine came with a credit-card-sized all metal weed grinder card, a bat, papers, a mini silicone mat for prepping dab hits, a dabbing tool and tiny medical grade silicone boxes called "pebbles," which are smell proof and hold flower or concentrates. They offer a two-year warranty on all their products. Up your cannabis case game, playa.


This locally made product fills a gaping need in the cannabis community. We've all found ourselves in a session with at least one backwards baseball cap-wearing Brohaim who breaks the mood with his endless monologue of how dank the five pounds he grew from a single HPS light are, and how mad terpy these dabs he keeps talking about but never loads into the rig are. (Did he just do your dab? He did, for the third time.) Simply spray a few spritzes of this all natural formula made from essential oils of feminism and extracts of racial/gender political discourse and watch them scramble to collect their backpacks and bail. Repeated applications may be necessary if said bro is a roommate.

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