Sitting on your barstool feeling slightly ashamed that you are the only person in the bar mid-afternoon, you start to wonder whose idiotic idea it was to have you clearly shout your account number and password repetitively into the phone. What was wrong with pushing the buttons? Obviously there is a lobby by Identity Thieves of America to keep up this practice, as there is no doubt they are all over Washington doling out gifts and promising senators favors to keep this system alive.
It seems like a no win situation, but really you just need to keep control. Next time, just start saying random words so when she says, "I'm sorry. I didn't get that." At least you understand where she is coming from. Some of my favorite lexicons are shuttlecock, giblet, and haberdashery. I also like to ask certain questions like, "Do you know who shot Kennedy?" or "Where does your soul go when you die?" If you are lucky, you speak a foreign language and can ask things like, "Ertu alltaf svona pirrandi?" which is Icelandic for, "Are you typically this annoying?"
That way you have the upper hand in the situation, and isn't this what it's all about? Eventually, if you confuse the voice enough it will put you through to a real human at which point you are justified to spend the next ten minutes repeating, "I'm sorry I didn't get that," to every question they ask you.
After this tête--tête, nothing will warm your heart more than knowing the voice didn't win. And a winner always deserves a victory shot.Victory Shot
1.5 oz tequila
.5 oz blue curaçao
.5 oz fresh squeezed lime
Shake and strain into a shot glass.