Fresh Poop Delivered Straight From the Newsroom to You | Editorial | Bend | The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon

Opinion » Editorial

Fresh Poop Delivered Straight From the Newsroom to You



Sept. 12

The Compassion of Conservatives: Crowd at Tea Party-sponsored Republican presidential debate cheers suggestion that a man in coma should be allowed to die if he doesn't have health insurance ... No, not the job creators! House Majority Leader Eric Cantor says President Obama's economic recovery plan means "a massive tax increase ... on job creators" ... Speaking of job creators: Bank of America announces plans to lay off 30,000 employees over next 10 years to save $5 billion a year; stock shoots up ... Not so fast, Dominique: Dominique Strauss-Kahn, released on New York sex assault rap, questioned by French cops on accusation of raping journalist Tristane Banon ... Big Al's Big Show: Al Gore to present 24-hour worldwide multimedia special on global warming to try to convince skeptics; Red Bull and No-Doz stocks rise.

Tuesday, Sept. 13

Have you been trickled down on yet? New census data shows incomes of middle-class families rose only 11 percent since 1980, while those of richest 5 percent went up by 42 percent; poverty rate hit 15.1 percent in 2010, highest since 1993 ... Still deadly: American officials blame group associated with Al Qaeda for attack on US Embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan that kills 16 ... Is there a vaccine against dumb? Appearing on "Today" show, Republican presidential hopeful Michelle Bachman says HPV vaccine causes mental retardation; American Academy of Pediatrics says there's "absolutely no scientific validity" to claim ... The things we do for love: Mary Purcell, 37, of Lake Ronkonkoma, NY, charged with phoning in fake bomb threat to Southwest Airlines because she didn't want relatives to fly day before 9/11 anniversary ... The things love does to us: New research shows fatherhood lowers men's testosterone levels. We already knew marriage did.

Wednesday, Sept. 14

Undiplomatic language: Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi allegedly caught on tape describing German Chancellor Angela Merkel as "an unf##kable fat ####" ... Hot times on the tundra: New biography of Sarah Palin by Joe McGinnis says Palin had one-night stand with basketball star Glen Rice, snorted coke, smoked pot with her professor and had affair with husband's business partner. Can't wait for the second chapter ... The Compassion of Conservatives II: Ron Paul's campaign manager, Kent Snyder, unable to afford health insurance, dies of pneumonia at 49, leaves family penniless ... To infinity and beyond: NASA unveils plans for giant new rocket designed to take humans to Mars or other deep space destinations by 2017 ... Closing with some good news: Gorilla Capital, state's largest purchaser of foreclosed properties, says foreclosure crisis "winding down" in Oregon.

Thursday, Sept. 15

Don't mess with Mama Grizzly: Sarah Palin's husband Todd blasts steamy Joe McGinniss bio as "disgusting lies, innuendo and smears"; New York Times review says it "chases caustic, unsubstantiated gossip" ... Qaddafi's last stand? Libyan rebels say they're closing in on coastal city of Sirte, one of last pockets of loyalist resistance ... Pumping it up: European Central Bank plus central banks of US, Japan, England and Switzerland move to head off collapse by infusing US dollars into European banking system ... A bit too much to swallow: Subscribers desert Netflix in swarms in response to steep rate hike for DVD rentals; execs expect to lose 600,000 by end of September ... Bad boy, bad boy: England Rugby captain Mike Tindall, who married Princess Anne's daughter Zara in July, caught kissing and groping blonde at dwarf-tossing competition in New Zealand. Well, we all know how erotic dwarf-tossing is.

Friday, Sept. 16

Scraping bottom: NY Times/CBS News Poll puts approval rating of Congress at 12 percent, lowest ever ... What, again??? Magnitude 6.6 earthquake shakes east coast of Japan; no casualties reported ... Dept. of Creative Euphemism: Microsoft to stop providing tech support for Windows XP in April 2014. "We are end-of-lifing Windows XP and Office 2003," says Chief Operating Officer Kevin Turner ... A little worse than stealing paper clips: Kweku Abodoli, trader with UBS, arrested in London after losing company $2 billion in unauthorized trading ... 'Til death, or whatever, do us part: Christians angry at televangelist Pat Robertson for saying it's okay to divorce wife with Alzheimers.

Saturday, Sept. 17

At least nine killed, dozens injured at National Championship Air Races in Reno as pilot plows his WWII-era P-51 fighter plane into crowd ... Going nowhere fast: European finance ministers meeting in Wroclaw, Poland, make no progress toward fixing debt crisis ... But how many apps does it run? If you ever wanted one of those Enigma coding machines used by Nazis in WWII, here's your chance: One will be auctioned at Christies Sept. 29 ... For those into more recent history, Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is auctioning memorabilia including laptop computer and packet of coffee from prison where he was briefly held ... Now this is enigmatic: Research finds men are 92 percent more likely to experience sexual dysfunction if their female partners are closer friends with their friends than they are.

Sunday, Sept. 18

Bloody Sunday: In escalating crackdown, security forces open fire on protesters marching in Yemen; at least 26 killed ... Magnitude 6.8 quake jolts northern Indian state of Sikkim; dozens of deaths reported ... Qwikster and Slickster: Netflix CEO Reed Hastings announces company's DVD-by-mail operation to become separate business called "Qwikster" ... Touchy, touchy: Alec Baldwin drops out of Emmy Awards show after Fox Network censors his joke about phone-hacking scandal involving Rupert Murdoch's News Corp.

About The Author

Add a comment

More by Administrator

  • Meet the Koch Brothers

    According to Rolling Stone, at a recent plutocrat's gathering, one of the Koch Brothers, heavy financers of the Tea Party "movement," called President Obama, "Saddam Hussein." Rolling Stone claims to have it on tape.
    • Sep 21, 2011
  • Big End-of-Summer Straight Poop Sale - Stock Up Now!

    Monday, Sept. 5 Tell us how you really feel, Jimmy: Teamsters Union President Jimmy Hoffa Jr., warming up Labor Day crowd in Detroit for President Obama, rips into Tea Party: "Let's take these sons of bitches out" ... Tea Partiers wail about "violent" rhetoric ... In tepid follow-up, Obama promises to support collective bargaining, challenges Congress to pass his forthcoming jobs plan ... Euro-trashed: European stock markets and value of Euro plunge on concerns over safety of banks ... Postage due: US Postal Service nearing default, facing deficit of $9.2 billion ... Well, at least somebody's having a good year: Hollywood scores record-breaking summer, posting box office revenues of $4.4 billion. Tuesday, Sept. 6 Following the money: Super PAC called "Make Us Great Again" plans to spend $55 million to snag GOP presidential nomination for Texas Gov. Rick Perry ... In tape obtained by Mother Jones magazine, right-wing billionaire Charles Koch tells attendees at secret seminar for fellow fat cats that "we have Saddam Hussein" in the White House and 2012 elections will be "the mother of all wars" ... Speaking of dangerous reptiles: Hunters in Agusan del Sur, Philippines, catch 21-foot saltwater crocodile, think there are even bigger ones out there ... Hello, goodbye: Carol Bartz ousted as CEO of Yahoo; tells employees via email, "I've just been fired over the phone by Yahoo's chairman of the board," Roy Bostock ... Calling Det. Axel Foley: Eddie Murphy, who made some funny movies in the 1980s, to host 2012 Academy Awards show, first time for him.
    • Sep 14, 2011
  • Can't See the Finish Line?

    When I read the inanities of Bachmann and other right-wing crazies, I wonder why the 2012 election is so important. The right wing now follows the Mayan calendar and accepts the end of the world, the Apocalypse, as December 21, 2012.
    • Sep 14, 2011
  • More »