Gay in that Way

Look, let's get one thing clear: regularly watching Glee does not make me gay. Reading Men's Health magazine makes me gay. Thinking up increasingly convoluted high-fives to give my softball teammates makes me gay. Cut off jean shorts - makes me gay. Spending waaay too much time detailing my car? Makes me gay. In fact there are tons of "straight guy" stuff I do every day that makes me flaming gay. (However, squealing like a girl when I heard Liza Minnelli doing a cover of Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" - that makes me a very different kind of gay.) My point is that it really doesn't matter how many women or men I've pleased sexually (87 and 42, though that's a conservative count). While Glee may, in fact, be the gayest show on television - gayer than RuPaul riding a rainbow unicorn at the annual Gaytown Gay Rodeo - it's a show that celebrates everyone: gays, straights, minorities, majorities, nice people, and a-holes. Though I'm pretty sure it hasn't celebrated gay monkeys yet. They should get on that.

Anyhoo, I think everybody should watch Glee (especially the season finale on Tuesday, June 8, at 9 pm on Fox) and not only because it's one of the most heartfelt, hilarious, and entertaining shows on TV. Everybody should also watch it because it can also be excruciatingly TERRIBLE. Example: Kristin Chenoweth and Matthew Morrison's recent cover of Barbra Streisand's "One Less Bell to Answer/A House Is Not a Home" was a gorgeous, show-stopping number that puts anything currently on Broadway to shame. In contrast, Morrison's white-boy hiphop version of Young MC's "Bust a Move" made me want to scrape the ears off my head with one end of a claw hammer, and bash my brains out with the other. HOWEVER! That's also why I love this show: Glee takes enormous risks, putting everything on the line with every episode. And unlike practically every other show on TV, there's the undeniable feeling that Glee actually gives a crap about what they do and say. And even better? They always touch on sensitive issues with humor - without getting up on their high horse. (Unless the horse is a rainbow unicorn, of course.)

That being said, watch Glee! And if you have time, watch these other shows as well, which are gay in their own beautiful ways.

Scripps National Spelling Bee (ABC, Fri June 4, 8 pm). Sure, it's not the Super Bowl - it's something that actually matters. For these nerds, this is their one shot at getting laid (at least by other nerds).

The Making of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter (NBC, Sun June 6, 7 pm). Behind the scenes at the new Harry Potter amusement park, where no one will ever get laid. Gay or straight.

Kathy Griffin Does the Bible Belt (Bravo, Tues June 8, 10 pm). In this special, Kathy brings her caustic, gay-friendly humor to the hillbilly belt - where they're more likely to make love to a hog rather than someone of their own gender.

Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman (Science, Wed June 9, 10 pm). And that, my friends, is perhaps the gayest name for a show you'll ever hear.

87 and 42 and counting! [email protected]