Guess what, kids? If you don't watch all the college football bowl games during the Christmas week/weekend, Santa knows, because he has an exclusive deal with ESPN that allows him to look back at you through your television set. And if Santa finds out you skipped, say, the Little Caesars Bowl because you thought it was something your cousin dreamed up when he was super high, he'll make sure you get nothing for Christmas. You'll also be forced to watch nothing but NASCAR until next year. Sorry. Them's the rules.
In the hopes of keeping you from enduring a Santa-enforced year of motor sports, (The guy can be a dick sometimes. Especially when he's been drinking, which is pretty much every night since the elves unionized over the summer.) here are some pointers to bring you up to speed on all the bowl games you better be watching this weekend.