Alert Source readers will remember that we sent H. Bruce Miller under not-so-deep cover last week to investigate rumors that there is no standard for pint glasses or pours in local bars and pubs. Shocking stuff. And in fact, we found a wide variety of glasses, prices and beer volume when we put local pints to the test, via Mr. Miller's trusty measuring cup.
So it was probably no great surprise that we got a call from one of those establishments demanding a recount, or repour, if you will. Bend Brewing Company owner Wendy Day told Source staffers that her pints had been given the short end of the stick and challenged us to repeat the experiment using a more sound methodology. Never one to pass up a drinking challenge, Upfront moseyed down to BBC on St. Patty's day and bellied up to the bar. We warmed up our glasses with a pint of BBC's Dry Irish Stout and got down to business.
We can't speak to how much beer our intrepid reporter was served on his earlier visit, but our glasses were poured to the rim with about a quarter inch of creamy head. As far as volume, we found that the glasses on that day, and presumably every other day, held a full 16 ounces of liquid as measured by Wendy's in-house measuring cup, which we assume is in compliance with all known international regulations. That's a little different than what our story said. We're sorry about that Wendy and Co.
We've ordered a thorough review of the Source's science curriculum and banned any use of measuring cups in the field. In the meantime, we'll have another stout to go with our dish of crow.
Still Stoned After All These Years
Rolling Stone Keith Richards - notorious for his consumption of marijuana as well as large quantities of much more potent stuff - told Britain's Sunday Mail newspaper that although he's kicked heroin, he still "smokes weed all the damn time."
Richards singled out Amy Winehouse as the only up-and-coming young musician he really admires - but warned that the booze-and-drug-abusing singer is headed for disaster if she doesn't clean up her act: "Mind you, that girl isn't going to be around long unless she sorts herself out pretty quick. Amy's got to get smart."
The problem isn't just the physical effects of drugs, Richards added, but the waste of time and energy from having to battle the law all the time. Speaking of his experience with the Stones, he said: "It completely took over our lives creatively and we couldn't do this and couldn't do that. You had to spend all your time trying to deal with the police. The same thing has happened to Amy Winehouse."
Although he looks somewhat the worse for wear - Dave Barry once said he resembles "a giant iguana that somehow learned to stand on its hind legs and play a guitar" - Richards is still going strong at age 64 and said he's looking forward to playing for a couple more decades.
"When this band started, I never gave it more than two years," he said. "Forty-odd years later, I now think we're just about getting it tight."
Reefer Madness Strikes Again
Sen. Tom Harkin knows lots of good reasons why marijuana should remain illegal. For one thing, the grip of the evil weed is so powerful that it forces parents to sell their children.
It seems a constituent wrote to the Iowa Republican asking him to explain why medical cannabis is still illegal even though the American College of Physicians recommended that it shouldn't be. Harkin replied that drugs claim many innocent victims, including "the small child whose parents are so addicted to illegal drugs that they sell everything including perhaps their own children to obtain a fix."
The Washington gossip blog Wonkette was impressed by the senator's deep understanding of the drug subculture: "Harkin knows the routine: smoke up, eat gyro, play Legend of Zelda, sell children to pirates for more pot, repeat."
Department of Clarifications
In last week's feature news story, "Blockbusted," it was not made specifically clear that Sun Buster video in Sisters is also an independent video store. Sun Buster video has been operating in Sisters for about four years and offers more than 10,000 titles, including foreign and independent films, as well as video games. The Source apologizes for any confusion this might have created. The offending writer has been sentenced to six weeks of hard labor at Blockbuster's warehouse facility in Nome, Alaska.