Instead, I'll say these were my top 14 (because a top ten is so 2013) favorite movies of 2014. Opinions are like 7-Eleven pizza, some are good, most are bad, and all of them make your friends hate you.
14) Only Lovers Left Alive: Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston will simultaneously haunt your sexy dreams and your nightmares after this. This movie will put you into a hypnotic state.
13) Edge of Tomorrow: If you haven't seen it then don't judge the love for it. Probably one of the most furiously entertaining movies of the year. An absolute blast. A blast of Tom Cruise's body parts across a muddy field.
12) LEGO Movie: The hardest I laughed watching a movie all year. Left me with a huge smile on my face from beginning to end. Made me want kids so I could show them this and never buy them LEGOs.
11) The One I Love: A weird and wonderful science fiction/romance hybrid that will get you into an uncomfortable conversation with your significant other once the credits roll.
10) Blue Ruin: A breathlessly intense thriller about revenge and how sometimes it's easy to get even when you're really bad at it. Like, terrible at it.
9) Fury: One of the finest war movies of the last decade and featuring a performance so good by Shia LABEEEEEOUFFFFF that you'll stop making fun of him and start making fun of Benedict Cumberbatch like you're supposed to.
8) Force Majeure: A pitch black comedy about the fragile male ego and what it looks like when it shatters into jagged, painful little pieces. Joyous to watch with a crowd.
7) Boyhood: A sublime look at growing up and the toll parents take on a child's brain. Richard Linklater might be America's poet laureate of filmmaking.
6) Cheap Thrills: A nasty and hilarious concept turned up to 11. Don't read anything about this movie. Just watch it and look for your jaw later.
5) Guardians of the Galaxy: You know what. I take films seriously, I do. But sometimes a massive hit is also a pure expression of cinematic joyousness and Guardians made me feel like I was 12 all over again. Screw the backlash.
4) The Grand Budapest Hotel: Ralph Fiennes gives my favorite performance since Joaquin Pheonix in The Master here. Perfectly pitched and deleriously funny while also being the most violent and heartbreaking film of Wes Anderson's career.
3) Snowpiercer: Yeah it's goofy, yeah it makes no sense sometimes, but holy hell this film had me by the throat for every second of its running time. I love Snowpiercer like Captain America loves babies.
2) Under the Skin: Hypnotizing, haunting and etherially beautiful. This film will live in your dreams long after you watch it. Truly a work of art on every single level.
1) Birdman: The film of the year, hands down. Not because of the virtuosic camerawork. Not because Michael Keaton and Edward Norton give career best performances. Just because it's one of the finest films of all time about lonliness, connection and finding your legacy before it slips through your fingers. A masterpiece that will only gain in estimation with time.
A Field In England
Listen Up Philip
How to Train Your Dragon 2
The Winter Soldier
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
The Raid 2
Didn't get to See:
What were your favorite films of 2014?