The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from where your relatives and America started - Jamestown, Williamsburg, and Yorktown, Virginia - on assignment for Or-Bust.com and The Source Weekly.
Obama, All the Time
Huh? Oh sh*t! It's Dubya - He had his hair curled and that treatment Robert Downey Jr. got for Tropic Thunder - The new boss is the same as the old boss!
Once again, ignoring a moment to ask a real question, David Gregory then asked Obama about the Chicago White Sox. Thereafter, anything said of importance by our President was immediately forgotten; fade to John Boehner (R-OH) and Lindsey Graham (R-SC), two elected officials who love subsidizing military contractors, faith-based organizations and farmers for not planting crops, but really, truly, honestly don't like socialism or voters with racist inclinations who consistently vote Republican.
Oh, About Afghanistan...
The classified report on Afghanistan by General Stanley McChrystal was leaked to the press this week (thanks Pentagon, or White House - Good thing 'Classified' still means something... ) and the findings are akin to waking up still drunk, cuddling a cousin. "Resources won't win... " this war, said McChrystal, but if we don't throw more resources at this war immediately, we may not win. Hmmm, gotta wonder what Stonewall Jackson would think of that statement.
Yay! We Have Health Care!
Thanks, Max. Baucus, that is. And thanks to the insurance and health care monopolies that contributed $2.5 million-plus to you, so you could totally impartially reform health care. The cost is under Obama's demand of $950 billion, but we will all soon be required (with fines of up to $3,500 per year) to buy insurance (without any public option to possibly compete with Baucus' buddies) from the same companies that have bankrupted our current system, then lobby guys like Max Baucus to "reform" it. I feel better now, don't you?
It's Jerry Jones' World, After All
Department of Corrections
It's come to our attention that our math didn't quite add up in our recent Boot re: Oregon Lottery games and specifically the formula used to calculate bar and tavern owners share of the revenue. In fact, reducing the tavern owners take from 23.77 percent to 15 percent of the total would represent a roughly 60 percent reduction in revenue. That would bring down the average rake from roughly $70,000 per machine to about $44,170. We have placed the dunce cap firmly upon our heads and are proceeding to stand in the corner facing the wall. Meantime, all apologies to Mr. Maguire, our sixth grade math teacher, who is shaking his head in I-told-you-so disgust right now, wherever he is.