Hello, all. Anything interesting happen since last we talked? That's right—a presidential election where my wildest dreams came true. I'm trying to be chill and avoid gloating, but it's hard to be kind toward a campaign whose advertising vacillated between "Fu** Your Feelings" and "Make Liberals Cry Again." Wait, did Giuliani just hold a press conference in the parking lot of a landscaping company in between a dildo shop and a crematorium? I am literally going to swallow my tongue.
- Courtesy of Voltage Pictures
- The lengths we will go to for that perfect selfie.
Anyway, November is jam packed with awesomeness and if you're either celebrating a victory or lowering your truck flags to half mast, there's something for everyone to enjoy.
In Pod We Trust:
I've spent most of the last few months dieting and intermittent fasting. There are so many diets that are downright bullsh*t that I've basically just cobbled together my own from food that I could afford, eliminating refined sugar and sit-ups. The podcast that has helped me the most in figuring out how to take care of myself is "Maintenance Phase," a 'cast specifically designed to dismantle health fads and the junk science behind them. The episode about Fen Phen blew me away and definitely made me settle on doing this the hard way and avoiding any and all "miracle" diet pills. I'm still overweight and looking forward to eventually getting somewhere close to a dad bod. "Maintenance Phase" makes me feel like I'm heading in the right direction, even as the pastry aisle of Safeway calls my name.
Obviously, the big thing right now is the new season of "The Mandalorian" has started on Disney+, but since we're only two episodes in as of this writing, it's hard to really talk about it. Baby Yoda is still adorable, the effects are the best I've ever seen outside of a movie theater and it's still a pretty perfect replacement for those of us unwilling to let go of "Firefly." Let's circle back to this next month and we can really get into whether it's better than season one.
When I was doing my best to drown out the election coverage, I discovered that for $10 a month, WWE.com has basically every single wrestling match of all time from WWE, WCW and ECW. I mean, I get that this is a historic moment in time, but watching Jake "The Snake" Roberts and the Honky Tonk Man throw down at "Wrestlemania III" got me through a few pretty tough days and nights. Even knowing wrestling is a soap opera kinda makes it better.
If you're in the mood for giggles, the worst Keanu Reeves performance I've ever seen is now on Netflix in the movie "Knock Knock." He plays a married man who has a threesome with two crazy ladies who tie him up and...well, I don't wanna ruin it. It's a terrible movie and directed by the dude that did "Hostel," so you kinda know what you're getting into, but it's unintentionally hilarious and never boring. Reeves looks like he realized he was in a bad erotic thriller, ala "Sliver," and looks suitably embarrassed and abashed. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.