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Opinion » Editorial

Our Straight Poop Is Sometimes Naughty but Always Nice

A gathering of news makers from the previous week.

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Monday, Dec. 5

Not Putin' up with it anymore: Thousands take to streets in Moscow shouting "Death to Putin!" after Prime Minister Vladimir's party accused of rigging parliamentary elections ... New Deal: German Chancellor Angela Merkel and French President Nikolas Sarkozy call for new European Union treaty that will punish countries for overspending ... No exit sign: Afghan government says it'll need US troops until 2024 and US money until 2030 - at least ... The Newt & Nancy Show: House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi says she has dirt on Newt Gingrich from 1990s ethics investigation and will use it; Newt says if she does it'll be a violation of congressional rules ... Meanwhile investigation by Reuters finds Mitt Romney spent $100,000 to hide records when he left office as governor of Massachusetts ... At least he wasn't flying: Federal Aviation Administration Administrator Randy Babbitt put on leave after DUI bust.


Tuesday, Dec. 6

Channeling Teddy: Speaking in Kansas, President Obama accuses Republicans of wanting to roll back reforms from Theodore Roosevelt's era, says free market shouldn't be "a free license to take whatever you want from whoever you can" ... Speechless: Eight-year-old boy raised by lesbian parents tells Michelle Bachmann, "My mom is gay and she doesn't need fixing"; Bachmann at a loss for reply ... Senseless: Elementary school music teacher in Michigan changes words of Christmas carol from "Don we now our gay apparel" to "Don we now our bright apparel"; parents outraged ... Fightin' words: Alec Baldwin kicked off American Airlines plane for playing "Words W Friends" on board, tweets: "Last flight w American. Where retired Catholic school gym teachers from the 1950's find jobs as flight attendants" ... Busted: Cannonball fired during "MythBusters" TV show experiment goes astray, crashes through house, takes out minivan.

Wednesday, Dec. 7

Dubious achievement: Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich sentenced to 14 years on corruption charges, longest of any of the four Illinois governors sent to the pokey in past 40 years ... The voice of desperation: Slumping in polls, Rick Perry airs new ad denouncing gays in military, promising to end Obama's "war on religion" ... Who, me? Interviewed by Barbara Walters, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad denies ordering violent crackdown on protesters ... Will Randy and Steven come too? "American Idol" host Ryan Seacrest in talks with NBC to succeed Matt Lauer on "Today" show ... That's a lot of dog years: Pusuke, a Japanese mixed breed who's oldest dog in world according to Guinness, dies at age 26 years, nine months.

Thursday, Dec. 8

Reprise of horror: Gunman kills campus cop, then kills self on campus of Virginia Tech, scene of rampage that killed 32 in 2007 ... A fine Russian whine: Vladimir Putin blames US for his political troubles, says Secretary of State Hillary Clinton "gave a signal" that touched off protests ... Maybe he's finally figuring it out: "This makes no sense," says Obama after Senate Republicans block confirmation of John Cordray to head Consumer Financial Protection Bureau ... Maybe the dog ate it? Jon Corzine, former New Jersey governor and chief of IMF Global, tells congressional panel he can't account for hundreds of millions of customers' dollars that disappeared: "I simply do not know where the money is."

Friday, Dec. 9

Send in the clowns: Rick Perry, attacking "activist judges," says there are eight justices on US Supreme Court. (There are nine) ... Newt Gingrich, underlining his support for Israel, says Palestinians are an "invented" people ... Donald Trump admits he's thinking about calling off GOP presidential debate he planned to moderate because it looks like only Gingrich and Rick Santorum will show up ... Tight little island: All 27 European Union countries except Britain go along with new treaty that will punish nations that exceed deficit limits ... Butter up: High-fat, low-carb diet craze sweeping Norway creates critical shortage of butter ... No cover-up: Playboy decides to release issue with nude pics of Lindsay Lohan early after photos are leaked to Web.

Saturday, Dec. 10

Maybe he'd better rephrase that: Obama says fixing economy is "going to take more than one term. It probably takes more than one president." Republicans would concur ... Still looking for bottom: Public approval of Congress hits all-time low as Gallup Poll finds 76% say members don't deserve to be re-elected ... First "Arab Spring," now "Russian Winter"? 50,000 rally in Moscow to protest rigged parliamentary elections, biggest demonstration since collapse of Soviet Union ... 1-percenters of the animal world: Tommaso, a four-year-old Italian cat, inherits 94-year-old mistress's fortune of more than $13 million. But he's small fry compared to Gunther IV, dog who got $372 million from German countess.

Sunday, Dec. 11

Foxes and henhouses: Russian President Dmitri Medvedev says via Facebook that his party will investigate charges his party rigged elections ... Mitts and Newts: Helped by inept Romney debate performance, Gingrich continues surge among Republican voters. But polls show Obama beating him in South Carolina, Florida ... Finders keepers: Iran tells US it won't return US drone it says it shot down last week ... When it goes wrong, it all goes wrong: Joe Paterno, 85, fired by Penn State in child sex abuse scandal and fighting cancer, falls in home, breaks hip ... Aging nicely: Jennifer Aniston, 42, voted "sexiest woman of all time" in Men's Health magazine poll; Racquel Welch, 71, hangs in there at Number Two.

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