Monkeys have tails, are much smaller than chimps, and do not have the intelligence or complex socialization structure that chimps do. (You actually would fall into the monkey category)
Do you personally have a problem with people taking responsibility for saving this endangered species? Did you know that after the entertainment industry is done with them they are locked up for the rest of their lives, which may span to 60 years? Or, are you just dumb enough to think that dressing chimps up and putting them on a TV station, Japanese or not, will somehow help their plight or keep you laughing your ignorant ass off? Using chimps to entertain people directly relates to them being slaughtered in the wild and bred for a life of confinement, solitude, and worse. I find your lack of intelligence and compassion in this matter staggering and I hope, for the chimps' sake, you continue to boycott Animal Planet.
A Bend Chimp Lover
Editors note: The article in question is actually a syndicated humor/television column. It is neither news, nor intended to be taken seriously.