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Food & Drink » Chow

Quick Bites: The Mating Ritual


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Animal Planet doesn't run nature shows on human mating rituals because they don't want to be confused with Girls Gone Wild. As all bartenders know, courtship and mating rituals are among the most varied and fascinating of all human behaviors. The sequence and variety differ by age, but a few essentials are usually in place - cocktails, dim lighting, and music.

Most courtship takes place in the evening, starting with bathing and preening. The female of the species may spend hours working on her plumage and makeup. The male concentrates on shaving his facial hair into the desired effect to attract the right mate: clean shaven for the girl who cares about success and prosperity, a goatee for the woman who desires adventure, and no shaving to attract the female who prefers life in a Volkswagen bus. Aromatherapy is usually in play as well. The female douses herself with a bouquet of floral or fruity aromas, while the male is drawn toward woody or spicy scents.

Once a male and female attract each other, they move on to the mating dance. The female is usually dominant during this display. While the male awkwardly punches the air with his feet rooted in place, the female runs her hands through her hair; dances with her ass in the air; and juts her chest out. The more colorful the female's display, the more interested the male becomes. He increases his movements until the two are rubbing against each other in synchronized rhythm.

If the female is unable to lure a male, she lowers her top or lifts her skirt, which usually solicits a mate. If the male is unable to lure a mate, he may try to fight an already-paired male in hopes of winning over his mate. However, aggression does not usually entice the female of the species, and males who resort to this method usually leave alone.

Once the mating dance is complete, the male and female advance to a nesting site and stay until morning.

The Mating

1 oz. vodka
1 oz. gin
1 oz. lemon
1 oz. lime
1.5 oz. of simple syrup
Shake and serve up in a martini glass
Garnish the rim with heart shaped maraschino cherries

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