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Outside » Outside Features

Sorry, Blazer Fans: An open letter from Greg Oden's knee

Last week, the Blazers announced that Greg Oden would undergo yet another microfracture surgery in an attempt to repair his left knee – the same knee that kept him out for most of last season – and will miss the remainder of the 2010-2011 campaign.

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Last week, the Blazers announced that Greg Oden would undergo yet another microfracture surgery in an attempt to repair his left knee - the same knee that kept him out for most of last season - and will miss the remainder of the 2010-2011 campaign. With frustrated fans beginning to make Sam Bowie comparisons and all but giving up on the friendly giant, I figured I'd go straight to the source for a comment. And that's why I'll now provide you with an open letter from Greg Oden's knee.

Dear Fans,

As you may know, I just had surgery again. What's up with that? Total déj vu, right?

Anyway, this means that Greg is going to be out all season and some of you are all bummed about that, but come on, let's get serious. What did you expect? We've missed far more games than we've played since becoming the top draft pick out of Ohio State (I kind of wish we would have stuck around there a little longer... we could have joined a frat or something) and soon, we're going to be part of the illustrious 200 club. You don't miss 200 games due to injury in four seasons by just slacking around. It takes dedication.

Some of you are saying things like, "Hey Greg Oden's Knee, doesn't this seem a lot like another member of the 200 club... Sam Bowie?" Answer: No, I don't think so. I've spent some time with Sam Bowie's knees (which he spoiled with fancy braces... lucky) and they've told me about his super solid rookie season. That's the difference, you see. Bowie actually showed some promise in the pros and his injuries were even more of a let down after fans had a taste of his potential. We, on the other hand, have been pretty up-front about the fact that we weren't going to do much in the NBA when my fellow knee screwed up his rookie season.

And let me save you a breath, because I know what you're going to say next: "Hey Greg Oden's Knee, what about Blake Griffin and his knee? They missed all of last season and are now climbing up defenders' backs and dunking from 10 feet away from the basket."

Please.

I could kick the cartilage out of Blake Griffin's knee with one tendon tied behind my back. If I ever see Griffin's knee on the court (date TBA, if ever) I'll tell that jerk what it's like to haul Greg's big ass up and down the floor. That knee has it easy with that sleek and sexy 250-pound frame.

OK, I need to get back to my ice bath and also see if Greg can get something done with this nasty scar the doctors left. You won't see me for a while - I'll be hidden beneath Greg's suit pants as he Tweets about me from the end of the bench. But hey, see you in 2011. Maybe.

Love, Greg Oden's Knee

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