In keeping with our newly minted tradition of highlighting the best (and worst) reader call outs for the Letter of the Week, we're spotlighting this nuclear missive from Jennifer Garcia who lambastes assistant editor Ric E. James' "east side garage" rundown from our Top 10 issue. Thanks for the letter Jennifer, you can pick up your prize, an Old Mill Pint glass and a Busch Light to fill it at our offices, 704 NW Georgia.
Stick That List
Dear Source Weekly and Ric E. James,
Yesterday I opened a copy of The Source, and I found a feature composed entirely of lists. One of those lists was titled "Top 10 Things You'll Find In An Eastside Garage." Now, I understand that you, Ric and company, think this is a very clever concept, but as a resident of east Bend, and a person with generally good taste, I do not think it's funny. I'm not writing this letter to criticize the lack of humorous material in your "article" because I think it does a pretty good job of demonstrating that on its own, but I do want to address the rather rude nature of the above mentioned piece.
Let us begin with number three on the list of things found in my, and my kind neighbors', garages: "All those CDs you got jacked out of your car last year."
Hmm. You're right. I did steal your CDs. I crept out of my dirty little hole near Boyd Acres, and traipsed over to west Bend to break into your beautiful car. You know what, Ric? I'm glad I did it. And pal, do you want to know what I did with the money I got from your rims(#4)? I used it to fund my little "Sudafed-based chemistry experiment(#8)" Then I took the leftover money and bought a case of Busch Light(#6). Hallelujah, Ric! What a day! Then I sat in my garage and drooled over the images from my 2006 Pep Boys Bikini Calendar(#2).
My God, Ric. Who do you think we are? A bunch of illiterate hillbillies? No, it doesn't work that way. Do you want to know who my eastside neighbors are? Well, I'll tell you. They are hardworking, intelligent, kind, and open-minded people.
Heck, the former mayor of Bend lived a few blocks away from me. So what if they drink Busch instead of microbrews and ale? I don't care. And so what if some people have old Swimsuit calendars instead of, like you, clippings of every newspaper piece they've had published? You're both masturbating to useless crap that should have been thrown away years ago.
I don't have any problem with east, west, north, or south Bend. I enjoy each part of Bend for different reasons, and I encourage everyone to look beyond the stereotypes associated with different neighborhoods. It isn't acceptable for people to accuse all westside residents of being rich yuppies, and it's not okay to call east Bend residents white trash. So please, try and be a little more sensitive. We all have to live in Bend together, and we might as well be decent human beings. But just in case this letter hasn't changed your mind, remember, we have Costco, and the better movie theater.
J. Garcia, East Bend Resident