Opinion » Letters to the Editor

Strange Things Are Afoot

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Dear City of Bend,

I bring you curious news from the civilized mainland. I heard a rumor of a glorious chariot, one that is capable of systematically pushing snow from the asphalt trails with a large mass of steel at the helm, known simply as a plow. This incredible marvel simultaneously prevents further snow and ice from accumulating by excreting a particular compound referred to as salt. Most importantly, this machine is not operated by dark magic or a snow shaman, but by the hand of man!

This anomaly will surely change travel as we know it. Perhaps we should stop spending the common wealth on things like purchasing land for $3 million in order to develop another park, and invest those gold coins in the safety of the general public by doing this plow stuff. Oh yeah, I also heard of this thing called filling in the potholes. We should try that, too!

Strange things are afoot, your majesties.

- J.C.

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