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Tea For Fun?

The schoolyard chant, "Beer before liquor, never sicker; liquor before beer, never fear" might be best left in the Kappa Kappa Delta house.

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Those who have found themselves buying three "beef" chalupas after a rough night always have a theory as to how their liver deceived them.

The schoolyard chant, "Beer before liquor, never sicker; liquor before beer, never fear" might be best left in the Kappa Kappa Delta house. If you've been drinking vodka all night, is it suicidal to have a Scotch nightcap? Is your liver really so devious that it considers a Long Island iced tea a complete insult and as such will get you back the next day?

No one knows for sure, but I do know this: Your liver is not that smart. Trust me, I've tried doing the crossword with mine and it still can't come up with a three-letter word for "feline." Sure, effervescent drinks are known to sneak their way quickly into the bloodstream by using their bubbles to trick your tummy. Brown liquor has more congeners (that's why it tastes so good) and a couple of scientists believe they might lead to hangovers. But overall, your liver is just doing its job, which is removing the poisons from all the crap you ingest. It doesn't stop and decide that since you switched from white wine to red that it's going to stop processing at the same rate and thus leave you with a headache that gives you the impression that your house is nestled up next to a train station.

I've done years of research and I've come to this conclusion: The key to success isn't what you are drinking and in what order, it is not drinking until the sun comes up when you've started at noon, tossing back an H20 (or four or five) while waiting for your next Manhattan to arrive and getting a good night's rest. If you follow those simple rules, you might just start saying, "Gin, tequila, vodka and rum - whatever the order, it still equals fun!"

Long Island Iced Tea

Robert Butt developed the Long Island in 1976 at the Oak Beach Inn in Hampton Bays, Long Island.

1 ounce dark Jamaican rum (Butt insisted on dark rum; it gave the drink its color)

1 ounce gin

1 ounce vodka

1/2 ounce triple sec

1/2 ounce lemon juice

add a splash of Coke

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