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Outside » Outside Features

Thanks (for nothing) giving

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Left Field had just stepped out of the shower and was in the middle of stirring up a Pepto-Bismol and 7-Up cocktail (we like to call it a "Kansas City Mimosa") to both shake off a Thanksgiving Eve hangover as well as prep the stomach for the near-fatal amount of holiday foods it would be encountering later in the afternoon when we sat down for some Thanksgiving day football. But when we turned on the tube, only about half an hour after the posted kickoff of the Lions/Titans game in Detroit, the game was pretty much over.

The Titans jumped out to a 28-0 lead in the first quarter and it was clear that the miraculously inept Lions would have no chance of tightening the game. As thus we flip channels through parades, feel-good Lifetime channel movies and the Weather Channel, all of which were more entertaining than the game happening in Detroit.


After a few checks of the turkey and some half-assed potato peeling, we flipped to FOX where our regional NFL team, the Seattle Seahawks, were making a rare Turkey Day appearance against the Cowboys. Now, the Seahawks are pretty damn horrible, but they're better at being bad than the Lions. The Seahawks, you see, actually have plenty of talent and they use this talent to do things like drive down to the 30-yard line on three consecutive drives, all of which fizzle out into field goal attempts. Coach Mike Holmgren has miraculously used his final season at the helm of the 'Hawks to craft a team that is impossibly disappointing. They always look like they can win...but deep down you know they won't.

Relatively loyal to the 'Hawks, we stuck it out through some of the second half (and also sat through an unsettling performance by the Jonas Brothers) but eventually tossed in the controller for the day, poured another round of Kansas City Mimosas and made our way to the dinner table. - Mike Bookey

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