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The Convergence: What to do when your fantasy football interferes with your World Series party and NBA games


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A World Series in which fans outside of New York are interested. NFL games featuring, among other things, at least one player with a broken ankle and a wiener-showing problem. The debut of the NBA's newest franchise, The Miami Lebrons Featuring Members of the Heat™. College football conference rivalries and BCS shuffling. NCAA basketball waiting in the wings. And, if you live in, or originate from, a region of the country where men still wear mustaches, there's also the NHL.

I like to call this "The Convergence" - a period in late October or early November when essentially all of the major sports on which we rely for distraction, entertainment and/or as an excuse for inebriation exist concurrently. But this year, The Convergence seems supercharged, allowing one (or maybe just me) to all too easily forget about non-sporting-related obligations, like paying bills or opening the door for trick-or-treaters (get a job already, kids) or standing up from the couch.

On Saturday night, The Convergence caused bar stools to be directed in odd directions, some watching as George W. Bush single-handedly defeated the San Francisco Giants in game three of the World Series while others witnessed the touring, point-scoring freak show that is the Oregon Ducks offense as it trampled up and down the turf in the L.A. Coliseum. Then just this Monday, it was possible to flip between Peyton Manning's latest Monday Night Football appearance (anyone else tired of looking at this guy?) and the World Series, all the while keeping a tangential interest in the Blazers' trip to Chicago in the hopes that they could continue their undefeated season.

So, how do we adapt to The Convergence in the hope of providing ourselves with something that looks like a healthy and fruitful life? Here are some ideas.

1) Stop watching sports all together.

Upside: You effectively solve your problem. Downside: With no distractions, you realize how depressing your life has become.

2) Choose one sport and stick to it.

Upside: You become a really big fan of just one team. Downside: Sometimes that one team starts to suck.

3) Purchase an inordinate amount of television sets/cable packages.

Upside: Maximum viewing potential and/or neighborhood popularity. Downside: No amount of touchdowns or slam-dunks can rescue your credit score after that zero percent financing wears off after a year.

4) Deal with it and wait until February.

Upside: It's important to remember that although sometimes hectic, The Convergence is better than the second week of February when sports enter one of their least exciting phases. Downside: February is a long way off and these couch-blisters are starting to fester.

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