Following Michael Jackson's recent death, even NPR is starting to sound like an '80s pop station as "Beat It" or "Man in the Mirror" seemingly haunts the background of every other interview. As a child of the '80s, my first introduction to star hysteria was Thriller; I would practice moonwalking and other jerky crotch-grabbing dance moves with my childhood girlfriends while donning legwarmers and a side ponytail.
The man needs a cocktail in honor of all he's done, but which Michael do you base the drink on? Is it the African-American Wonder Boy, the White King of Pop, the Soul-Searching Humanitarian, the Amusement Park Pedophile or the Looks-Like-an-Alien Philanthropist? Or do you just base it on one of his song titles, like just create some vile concoction that figuratively screams "I'm Bad" when you taste it?
The drink definitely must have the ability to go from dark to white, as that is one of MJ's most distinctive qualities. It must also have a flaming aspect in honor of Jackson's hair lighting on fire during the filming of a 1984 Pepsi spot. It definitely needs to have a little non-alcoholic chaser. It has to be flashy and visually appealing. And last but not least, there needs to be a little bit of mystery to it and be ridiculously expensive but half of the proceeds go to charity.
As for stipulations when you drink the drink, it must be enjoyed with large sunglasses on. You must drink it alone and never in public. And at the last sip, you must shout out, "wee hee," and then perform the moonwalk followed by a double spin. We'll miss you Michael Jackson.
The MJ
Rim glass with Bacardi 151 and sugar
Patron XO Coffee Liquor
Float with cream
Light the rim on fire
Drop in a little mystery flare & serve with a small Shirley Temple.
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