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Them's the Rules

I was recently out at a bar, which is a rare occasion, as I don't often go to what I consider the "flip side." There is a reason for that, and it's typically because I feel like I am working without getting paid.

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I was recently out at a bar, which is a rare occasion, as I don't often go to what I consider the "flip side." There is a reason for that, and it's typically because I feel like I am working without getting paid. Most recently, I was enjoying an evening out with a close friend, which was a great pleasure as I hadn't been out at a bar in many months. As I perused the back bar to decide what I was in the mood for and chatted with a close bartender friend I rarely see, a young punk leaned into me and said, "You kicked me out of the bar once and I wasn't even doing nothing," which reminded me exactly why we do kick people out of the bar.

Most likely, if you've been kicked out of the bar, you've been doing nothing. We certainly don't like to kick out people who are picking fights, overly intoxicated or otherwise rude, belligerent, obnoxious, sexist, graceless, uncivilized, vulgar, boorish or surly. We try instead to find a nice couple minding their own business, enjoying intellectual chitchat while they toss back a couple of Grey Goose martinis.

We the bartenders typically look to see who is doing the most nothing to kick out. Reading a thick Russian novel and completely minding your own business or just trying to get a glass of Chardonnay with your best friend from childhood? Well, too bad sister because you're probably going to get kicked out of the bar for doing nothing. It would seem that a better use of our doormen would be to bounce people who try to light a cigarette inside, try to walk out on their tab or try to punch the guy next to them. But just as my bar buddy said, we don't kick people out for any of those things - we only kick out the people who are doing nothing. So to all of you whom I've kicked out for doing nothing - well I would apologize, but as you can see, a rule's a rule.

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