Well I got to tell you, I've been here since 1954 and I promise you another person moving into Bend will not, cannot, make this place a better city to live in. I sure as Hell don't want another neighbor crowding me. Bend used to be a great place until Mt. Bachelor and the Chamber of Horrors, ah, Commerce started advertising "Bend for Sale." It's gone downhill since. If companies want to relocate here and bring jobs, I've got no problem. But Bend's already full up. We don't want any more people here. I guess I'll have to get elected to City Hall. Someone needs to kick a little "Johnny-come-lately ass!" around here.
Come on old timers it's time to take back our town before it's too late. Will you help me? - Name withheld upon request.