Welcome to the Jungle | The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon

Welcome to the Jungle

Most children by the age of ten can recite a chilling version of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" or another outlandish ghost tale. At summer

Most children by the age of ten can recite a chilling version of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" or another outlandish ghost tale. At summer camp they sit around late at night terrifying one another by raising the ante with each story. But the child who terrorizes like no other is always the child of an Oregon bartender. No other child has experienced the true-life horrors of the creature many simply refer to as OLCC. Stories of their pappies disappearing in the middle of the night because daddy's server permit was at home instead of tattooed on his upper right shoulder and tales of mommy turning into an evil mummy because she told someone over the telephone that her place had happy hour on Fridays.


Most can't believe these crazed stories. But others claim these tales are true, and some claim they must be true because they've heard about these rules and regulations and they've heard that you'll be petrified if you break them, as you have no clue what is about to happen.

There are people who have seen this creature and they say they would never cross its path. They claim the creature once took a bartender mid-shift in deceit and then stuffed him into a black bag and threw him down a well where he spent the rest of his days estranged from his family and loved ones.

Then there are others who have dared to knowingly cross the creature, clueless that they were walking into an eternal trap of terror. The creature has no mercy. He thinks of the bartender as his toy, a plaything, and will torture him like a jungle cat plays with its prey until all that exists is a corpse with only a few shallow breaths. The only reason he doesn't seal the deal is because something got caught in the trap and the writhing of fresh meat turned his attention from his floundering prey. But maybe, if we're lucky, good will defeat evil this ghost story season and this creature will be put to an end once and for all.

Jungle cat

2 ounces of Le Tourment absinthe

Drink enough so you either see a scary creature or the scary creature doesn't scare you anymore.

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