What Do You Do With A Dead Deer?

All day long the tune  "what do you do with a drunken sailor" has been skipping through my mind—except the replacing some of the key words with "dead deer." 

As I padded around my house this morning, with a cereal bowl in my hand, I looked out the window—and saw a deer laying dead by my backyard fence. Yes, I gagged, and then recouped and went into decision-making mode: What does one do with a dead deer in this yard? 


I rolled through the sequence of leaving the corpse in the yard—it's natural after all—but quickly realized that would mean rotting, bloating, stinking. I called two friends—each who told me that I should carve it up for venison. I responded the same each time, "There are black flies coming out of the anus."

Apparently, Deschutes County Animal Control is not the place to call either.

"We can't remove dead animals from private property," the man on the phone told me. "But, we can from BLM land. Or, you could bury it." 

A Google search didn't do much good either, although there was a phone number without much information on the second page of results.  Lee.  ARS (that's "animal removal service").  

I called Lee. He said he'll stop by after his doctor's appointment and take the deer away. 

Thanks, Lee's Animal Removal Service.