Whatever, Mom | Culture Features | Bend | The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon

Culture » Culture Features

Whatever, Mom

Not Quite Mother Teresa



There's no such thing as a perfect mother. And as one of the flawed, I know how uncomfortable it can be to own up to those "Oh my god, she did/said what?" childrearing bloopers. Which is why I'd like to commend a few brave mamas for recently agreeing to... well, get pretty damn personal with me.

Faced with a list of no-holds-barred questions, these ballsy ladies (with kiddos all under the age of 10) definitely delivered. And although they remain anonymous, there's no doubt that their admissions took plenty of courage, a sharp sense of humor and some downright unimpeded honesty.

So here you go, mommy readers: a few thought-provoking tidbits to remind you that, when it comes to parenting struggles, screw-ups and so-called blasphemies, you're anything but alone.

(If you're easily offended, now would be a good time to turn the page.)

What's something you do/have done that most moms would frown upon?

"Drinking during pregnancy."

"I sometimes shower with my preschool-aged son."

"Smoking and cursing in front of my kids."

"I'm that mom on her iPhone at the playground."

Do you spank your kids?

"I don't now, but I did go through a stage of smacking my daughter's butt for at least one full month when she was three."

What's your notorious mom-ism?

"The big-kid association: 'You want to be a big girl, right? Or are you still a baby?' My daughter takes great offense to this one."

"Do you want me to get your father?"

Would you admit to being a lazy parent?

"Absolutely. Some days I prefer to do NOTHING, in which case I allow virtually endless amounts of TV, iPad and computer. My kids love lazy days."

How do you feel about breastfeeding in public?

"I'm all for it! I never hesitated to feed my son when he was hungry, no matter where we were. Sadly though, I remember lots of judgmental stares, like I was committing a crime or something."

"Yay, boobies!"

What do you miss about life-before-children?

"Having more energy, more quiet time, more late-night outings, and more sex with my husband."

What's your most memorable "oh sh*t" mommy moment?

"When my son was about two, he got into my 'goodie drawer' while I was sleeping. I woke up to a room full of condoms, lubes and adult toys—some in his hands and mouth. It was mortifying."

How have you used your child as an excuse?

"Sorry, I can't come in to work today. My kid is throwing up all over the house."

"She's my excuse for gaining weight. Does that count?"

What are you most ashamed of? "I struggled with some pretty severe post-partum depression, wishing horrible things upon my son and hating him for 'ruining my life.' Looking back now, it disgusts me, but at the time I felt very out of control. Thanks to some productive therapy, we now have a great relationship."

What's your little white lie?

"Sorry, honey. The arcade machines are all out of order."

"We don't have enough money for that."

"Mommy and Daddy were just taking a nap."

Add a comment

More by Taylor Thompson